My friend and ally from the hospital, please contact me on Facebook. I came home to 10 new friend requests and I don't know what your name is on Facebook. >_<
A very long three days to finally end up at [Hospital's] Behavioral Health Unit after 3 days in their crisis ER area. No roommate and hope it stays that way. Hijacked the extra pillow and blanket. Made an enemy right off the bat too. I arrived right at shower time and they were helping me get used to their system and this other woman was saying she was first and all. Frazzled and with low nicotine and testosterone and just belted out “Fuck it! Go ahead! I don't give a fuck!” or something to that effect and hoo boy. “Do you know what it's like to have hemorrhoids?!?” She shouted. “YES I DO!” I declared. “Itchy, painful and burns as fuck!!! SO GO FIRST!!” I shouted back. Been having trouble not having outbursts. Hoping that blows over. Been fortunate to have some pretty cool staff. [The author would later eat those words] Wonder if it's the same hospital food or if we get anything different. Snack time was good, same stuff we're getting for lunch snacks dow...
Making an attempt at Dry January. Been sober-ish for almost 2 weeks. I say sober-ish because I have had 2 beers. Which my housemate gave to me. I don't intend on stopping drinking. Just way overdid it during the holidays. Got sick of waking up sick and shaky. Every cell in my body screaming for alcohol. So yup, taking a break. Oh yes and got brave and asked for Acamprosate from the doctor. It's supposed to help with cravings. Medication based sobriety is valid. California Sober is also valid. Yes been smoking quite a bit more weed. Of course now I'm at the point of out of weed, out of money. And the tension is so real. That's the hardest part to deal with sober - the tension. Feeling tense, mind racing, begging for any sort of relief to help slow my mind down. Might end up bumming dad for beer money and give in. It's Friday after all. Weedman doesn't take digital payments, cash only. *** Another point of contention is that YouTube removed my first Santa Muert...
Flat out, it's just too upsetting to read through those old journal entries. Ya no puedo, can't fuckin do it. I've been meanwhile finding some success with my YouTube channel. 1k subscribers and my Santa Muerte song compilations have been gaining a lot of traction. 95k views on my second compilation, that's huge!. As a result though, the majority of my subscriber base speaks Spanish. So moving forward, I'm making my videos bilingual in order to be more accessible to my audience. I like doing spoken word pieces. Now that my voice has deepened, I really enjoy the sound of my voice now. And yeah sure, it's almost masturbatory to enjoy listening to myself speak. Fuck it, I can be happy with myself and my newfound voice. Considering doing a bit about my bout with psychosis. I made some videos during that time which I've uploaded. I'm taking the old school, 2006's YouTube approach. I'm not in it for the money, not looking for sponsorships or any of...
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