Dry January/Youtube Frustrations

Making an attempt at Dry January. Been sober-ish for almost 2 weeks. I say sober-ish because I have had 2 beers. Which my housemate gave to me. I don't intend on stopping drinking. Just way overdid it during the holidays. Got sick of waking up sick and shaky. Every cell in my body screaming for alcohol. 

So yup, taking a break. Oh yes and got brave and asked for Acamprosate from the doctor. It's supposed to help with cravings. Medication based sobriety is valid. California Sober is also valid. Yes been smoking quite a bit more weed.

Of course now I'm at the point of out of weed, out of money. And the tension is so real. That's the hardest part to deal with sober - the tension. Feeling tense, mind racing, begging for any sort of relief to help slow my mind down. 

Might end up bumming dad for beer money and give in. It's Friday after all. Weedman doesn't take digital payments, cash only. 

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Another point of contention is that YouTube removed my first Santa Muerte song mix. At the point the video was paused, assumed it was that particular song. One of my favorite songs too! .>:( Redid it without the song, gets nuked by YouTube. Try to upload it under a different title, nuked again. Claims it's "Promoting Violence" and yeah I'm still learning Spanish but I don't *think* any of the songs had violent content. 

A lot of videos on my Santa Muerte playlist got nuked too, so it's not just me. My second and third mixes are still up for now. But wouldn't surprise me if those are taken down too. So, created a Vimeo account as a backup. https://vimeo.com/clydepeligro313

Oh yes and now Seaart.ai has a bug up its ass over Santa Muerte content too. Removed all my Santa Muerte pics and wouldn't let me create a new one. I created most of the images I've used in my videos with Seaart. Bing Image Creator does a pretty decent job though. 

Finding Santa Muerte? It was like coming home. I spent years upon years seeking my path. I'll have to tell the story of how I became a devotee. Long story short, she came to me. She came into my life when I had experienced the death of my mother. Santa Muerte, Flakita, mi Madrina. She stepped into my life to fulfil that maternal role. 

I'll be honest this crackdown on Santa Muerte content has me worried. Associating her with only violence and cartels and such. And yeah sure, she has that association. But, she is far more than that. A Saint for the downtrodden. The ones the church abandons. The ones on the fringes of society. She isn't scary, nor evil. And she doesn't equal violence so fuck you YouTube.