That little boy in kindergarten in the Minnie Mouse shirt? He knew all along that he was a boy.

 

In kindergarten, I came to the conclusion that I'm a boy. I'm not sure how schools are these days, but it was very much gender segregated at that time. The girls sat with the girls, the boys sat with the boys. When lining up for lunch or gym, we were in two separate lines according to gender.

The girls didn't want to talk about cool stuff like bugs and Nintendo and dinosaurs. I was just endlessly frustrated that I never made a connection with any of the girls and many of them bullied me.

One day, I came to the conclusion that I'm a boy. I approached the boy's table and said “I'm a boy now. Can I sit with you?” The head boy nodded solemnly and went to confer with the other boys. After a few moments, he returned and said I could sit with them. They accepted me as a boy despite my very girly holographic Minnie Mouse shirt.

It was time to line up and I sat in the boy's line. The teacher huffed and approached me. “*deadname* That's the BOY'S line!!!” I looked up at her and smiled. I replied, “I know. I'm a boy now.” She paused thoughtfully. And finally said “Okay.” She drew the line at my using the boy's restroom, but I could sit with the boys and be considered a boy. I felt that was fair enough. Mind you, this was in 1991.

One of my best friends was a kid who liked to color his teeth with crayons. He mostly preferred blue. Mom told me she was going to throw away all my toys if I didn't clean my room and I lamented about this to him. He offered to come over and help me clean my room. I told him mom would say no, but I really appreciated the gesture.

When it came to first grade I reluctantly accepted I was a girl. I was somewhat a tomboy, most of my friends were male. I had a kick ass set of bug patterned pencils all the boys were jealous of. Lmao and I remember being in the store doing back to school shopping. I insisted on the cool bug pencils despite mom trying to persuade me toward some cute pink pencils. Nope, I want the cool bugs!

And it's like fuck, I knew it all along. It wasn't until I was 35 that I realized I was trans and came to accept it. But, that little boy in kindergarten in the Minnie Mouse shirt? He knew all along that he was a boy.